Theft is good.
What to do as tech1-frig pirate when everyone else is flying big nasty cruisers/battlecruisers/battleships/recons ?
You steal.
You steal EVERYTHING that is not fitted to a ship. You hop every belt, warp to every station, every gate and you TAKE whatever is not nailed down.
You snag battlecruiser wrecks from under their killer’s noses and warp out before they lock you, you scoop every drone you find hanging in space, and give them a new home!
Why do you do this? FOR THE GOOD OF ALL PILOTS! A CLEAN SPACE IS A SAFE SPACE!
Why am I posting this you might wonder? Well, after checking my character’s cashflow, it turns out i’ve hit a new record I’ve earned 20 million isk scooping and stealing over the past two weeks! (contrary to what i just told wensley in a comment on his own blog, it was 20 not 15 mil).
I would like to congratulate myself, my klepto nature, and the shit-head “anti-pirates” camping gates in battleships, for this great achievement in boredom relief!
System upgrades gone wrong.
Following yet another embarrasing debacle with my pod interface crashing during my roam with mynxee, wensley and corpmate Bfoster (read here, as chronicled by Wensley) I decided it was time to try upgrading the software in my pod (i.e. update my graphic drivers).
*slips out of character*
Let me tell you something… Windows Vista and Nvidia do not love eachother as much as they should.
I ended up reinstalling my entire PC over the weekend, and missing out on thr Python frig tournament and the Destroyer Roam (which I’d suggested we do :/ )
Bullocks.
*resume character*
In a few days, I will complete my training of Evasive Maneuvers, I’ll only have a few more skills to train then to fly the Malediction interceptor, something I am looking forwards to tremendously.
One can only fly the Punisher for so long until it gets a bit repetitive, it’s lacking mid-slot becoming ever more annoying as time passes, and it’s severe limitations in a small gang (no microwarpdrive on a bleeder setup, no real tank/cap on a MWD-fit tackler setup) pretty much leave you as “comic relief”.
The malediction will at least prove to be a very useful tackler, and it will be the first ship I use that uses missiles/rockets to do it’s damage, I’ve been given to understand the damage they do is less than stellar, but at least it’s a certainty you’ll be doing some damage.
If anyone has experiences to share flying the Malediction I’m all ears, because I’m not entirely clear on how to fly it yet (and given the pricetag on interceptor hulls and fittings, I’m not keen on blowing up ten of them to learn the hard way)
So please, your feedback is welcome.
Overheard on the Python Comm-net
Spectre3353> woa
Spectre3353> phoon, tempest, raven, raven, mega, domi, geddon on scan?
Spectre3353> whats going on here?
Andrea Skye> who0′d you piss off helicity
Helicity Boson> maybe after they popped poor foster’s raven they want more
Spectre3353> WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
Helicity Boson> I KILLED A NUB IN A DOMI OK?
Helicity Boson> …and maybe some other people…
Helicity Boson> …maybe like 5 today…
Helicity Boson> …kinda…
Helicity Boson> …
Helicity Boson> I’m sorry
Helicity Boson> u.u
Spectre3353> domi is towards a belt or planet
Spectre3353> let me seeee
Spectre3353> i see it on scan towards you andrea
Spectre3353> is it at 6?
Andrea Skye> it is
Andrea Skye>
somewhere
Andrea Skye>
who is it and how old
Spectre3353> no idea
Spectre3353> its a domi
Spectre3353> it goes pew pew sometimes
The Disconnect of… UnDoom!?
The systems of my Punisher frigate had been on the fritz, they’d crashed completely two times already (leaving me in the soundless black inside the pod with no feed from any sensors) and then rebooted.
The reasons remain inexplicable, fortunately the emergency warp systems get you out of harms way most of the time when this occurs.
I’d been drafted as tackler in a small gang composed of two massive battleships and a battlecruiser.
We’d been trying to get our hands on another Amarr battleship for what seemed like hours, but the prey had been too elusive. Fortunately I found a Cormorant in one of our system’s asteroid belts, bravely fighting the local pirates, as young capsuleers are wont to do. Unfortunately for him, I’m a bit more dangerous than ships flown by normal crews instead of capsuleers.
I had been chasing him through the asteroid belt, my lasers wreaking havoc on his delicate shield systems and chewing large molten holes in his armor. In turn, the crew of the local pirate ships decided they did not like the competition and were firing volleys of bright missiles at my own ship. Their crude rockets were no match for my glorious amarrian armor thank though, and I was content to ignore them (for the time being).
The cormorant had outranged me after I shaved too close to a floating asteroid and had begun to warp away, my companion Vanamoinen arrived, but too late to scram the would-be escapee.
Mentally I calculated his likely trajectory and slammed down on the warp control, my ship hurtling through space into the next asteroid belt, the cormorant was there… and so was my friend’s gleaming, golden, Armageddon-class battleship.
The cormorant ended up sandwiched between our fire, and was quickly reduced to a heap of slag.
After this little apetizer, we felt like more and went to Mara, which was quickly filling up with hostile pilots according to Vanamoinen.
At my friends’ request I was scouting out the gates, reporting on the number and types of ship guarding each one (and they were many, and to my eyes BIG ships indeed). It is then that I made a crucial mistake, instead of warping in at a distance at the last gate I was supposed to scout out, I landed right on top of it, and right next to two battlecruisers and a bizarre battleship-sized monstrosity (later this was revealed to be a Caldari Scorpion-class ship).
I panicked, this could not possibly end well!
And then everything went black…was this death? For what seemed like an eternity I could hear or see anything, and then the systems came back online. another damned crash!
Taking stock of my surroundings, it seems the emergency warp system kept me alive yet again, but I saw no sign of my friends, local Comm was full of garbled chatter and explosions, and I had a pretty good idea what was going down. I warped to the gate as fast as I could, just in time to see the scorpion class ship explode under the fire my friends were pouring into it.
But this was too little, too late, my friends were swarmed, and destroyed by the massive blob of enemy ships.
I escorted their escape pods, which had made it out, back to the station, my ship being the only that had survived. I guess that my fritzy electronics have a use afterall… but I’m not too pleased I could not fight alongside my gang when shit hit the fan.
exciting!
It was late at night in Lonetrek, and Spectre had been chasing around the tech II variant of his own Vexor cruiser throughout Dantumi and Mara, alternating between hunter and prey as each tried to get the drop on the other.
Spectre is a clever pirate though (as his recent money making scheme clearly proves), so Andrea Sky, Lanissum, Bfoster and myself were all hiding in various places in the mara system, ready to pounce on our prey if he made a mistake. In the end it seemed there would be no end to the shadowgames, so we did something the ducker did not suspect.
The next time he jumped through the gate into Mara proved to be the last, as we mercilessly pounced on him and tore his ship to shreds it turned out my fear of this pilot was unfounded, his ridiculously poor fit would have trouble killing even poor little Mr Nibbly, my trusty punisher.
In the end I was merely contributing my warp scrambler though, as i was unable to really damage the Ishtar, but that is in itself still a valuable thing!
Still grinning from our kill we waited out the criminal cooldown in a safespot before moving on to Dantumi, as luck would have it, we detected a young pilot flying a comorant. Seeing as he had only been comissioned as a capsuleer 5 days ago he could not possibly be a threat to us.
I took a guess.
“I bet you he’s in the asteroid belt”
He was.
What came after was mercifully brief. Oh dear oh dear.
I hope someone who is new to being a capsuleer reads this; don’t go into low-sec space with a ship you can barely fly, equipped with mining lasers ok? Bad things will be done to you by bad people!
A little present.
Helicity looked up from her work and wiped her sweat and grease-soaked brow.
Irritatedly she blew a lock of hair from her face and put down a large wrench before putting her hands on her hips and surveying her hangar.
“oh yes… this will do just fine”
Eight gleaming, gilded Punisher frigates graced the dark confines of the Caldari station, a stark contrast to the drab colours and straight lines of it’s architecture.
“This will do just fine indeed”
—
—
This brings me to a little out-of-character annoyance, CCP TAKE HEED!!
There is no reason, AT ALL, why we cannot rename our ships without being in them.
There is no reason, AT ALL, why we cannot fit our ships without being in them.
apart from shoddy coding of course.
-Helicity out
Mr. Nibbly bites the dust.
I reclined in my dark office, the familiar creaking of the leather chair soothing my racing mind.
What a lesson that was…
I had just lost my frigate (though hardly an expensive or impressive vessel it was mine) to a well executed gate camp on the way home from a little roam to passari.
I had spotted Jamie James’ interceptor on the Dantumi side of the gate, but thought nothing of it, I’d passed through many camps in my frigate already, and it had proved nearly impossible for larger ships to catch me, and most interceptors were (sensibly) quite leery of engaging under the range of the gate guns.
Most interceptor pirates.
The Taranis had followed me through the gate, and on the otherside a pondersome Drake was sitting, it’s deadly rocket launchers at the ready.
This meant trouble!
I tried to get my ship to engage it’s warpdrive, and fly into the asteroid belt straight ahead; no aligning would be required… but nothing happened, the controls would not respond; the dread beast of system-loading-lag had finally got the better of me.
By the time my ship would respond to commands again, the interceptor had snagged me in a web and disrupted my warp drive; taking heavy fire from the gate guns in the process.
It was then that the plan became clear as the interceptor fled the guns’ onslaught… he had been buying time for the Drake to come get me.
Large missiles started to impact my Punisher, the shields winking out in an instant, the hull held up fairly longer though. I contemplated firing up the repper and nos and see how long I could last; presumably a pretty long time.
A quick glance at the comm killed this idea though, no help would be forthcoming… at least not for me, local held only enemies.
I sighed and resigned myself to what would come next.
A bone-shattering lurch as the pod was hurled clear from my exploding ship followed by a terrible rumble as the shockwave hit the pod again.
Gathering my senses I noticed the drake was trying to lock onto my tiny escape pod; he would not get me this day! I slammed on the warp controls and my pod escaped before the Drake could complete it’s lock.
Moments later my pod drifted into my home station and I was extracted by the station techs.
I kicked my pod and walked to my office, a sneer on my face.
Fortunately, not all was doom and gloom!
My financial systems indicated a substantial insurance payout was now mine; and all the ship components I had… uhm…found recently had sold.
An eerie grin began to creep over my face, and I hit up a shady Gallente associate of mine, who cared not for who she hauled goods, as long as it paid.
(I can no longer enter high security space, unless I want the local navy to send me packing in a pod again you see)
“I sent you a shopping list… any idea when you can have the goods”
“heh, easy peasy, I might even be able to drop off the goods tomorrow if you like”
*excellent*
Ransom gone wrong, still fun
The punisher’s sleek hull slowly hummed under the dulcet tones of the core’s low-power setting.
I was hanging still at a lagrange point far from any planets or asteroid belts, my scanner slowly sweeping the system looking for prey.
As I sorted through the data, I found what i was looking for…
An Omen, a sleek Amarr gunboat cruiser was located in an asteroid belt nearby, and it seemed he had not noticed me yet.
Quickly estimating the possible outcomes of taking him on alone, despite the pilot’s young age, I decided this was not the best of plans.
Fortunately, like any half-decent pirates, I have friends.
It did not take long for Infidel and Lanissum to show up, in a rifter and a thorax respectively.
We hurled through the warp conduit, fierce grins splitting our faces, pulse racing for the kill.
We landed in the belt, only to find we had competition! Some guristas were slinging their missiles at the cruiser, but having little luck with defeating it’s defenses.
I guided the punisher (Mr. Nibbly to you) into a shallow dive as I swooped in to set my warp scrambler to work on his engines;- He was not leaving.
Seeing that the thorax and rifter were quickly chewing through the Omen, I decided to take out the competition with my lasers instead, keeping the scram locked on the cruiser, which was by now riddled with holes.
The Gurista frigates exploded with a satisfying flash, and I turned my attention to the com.
“Omen going down cease Fir-”
KZZZT
Interference… the com had died and Infidel’s rifter came by on another run, pelting the buckling omen with a volley from it’s autocannons, it exploded with a pitiful wail, it’s escape pod hurled clear from my scram range.
“damn”
No ransom that time.
Testing.
After a quick roam through the outlying systems of Lonetrek I came up empty-handed, prey-wise. Couldn’t find anything suitably crunchy to pirate without getting myself blown to smithereens, had to run from an arby twice (drones = the devil).
I resigned myself to the fact that no kill would be had tonight, and set about making a few trips to collect ship modules for a fit I had heard of. The Bleeder Pattern Punisher.
I quickly engaged some hypno-training to be able to fit the requisite modules and asked one of my fellows to help me test it.
I could not quite get it to work right, but then the ship I was testing it with was a Gallente Interceptor; hardly the right kind of target.
We quickly came to the conclusion that while the fit did actually work, it would only really work against frigates and cruisers that have neither a webber module nor light drones equipped, clearly this was a vanishingly small portion of the ships you may encounter while pirating, only the most inexperienced pilots would fall prey to it.
Disappointed slightly with the tests I docked up and crawled into bed, cradling a copy of Advanced Logic For beginners and continued studying.
Waiting.
I settled into the cracked leather of the comfy chair in my office in Aurohunen, cradling a copy of “Eidetic Memory For Beginners”, a long sigh issueing from my lips as I began to work through the dense material.
I hated studying, but the so called “learning skills” represented a group of mnemonic exercises meant to restructure the pathways of the brain to better process the massive sensory input and other data from the POD, as well as containing methodologies to better absorb further training in the use of ships and modules. These are vital things to a capsuleer, without proper training you will fly your ship like a toddler moves it’s body.
There was something of a racket outside the Python Headquarters as a freshly cloned Spectre kicked over a garbage can with a cry of frustration; He’d just lost a battlecruiser and a fresh set of implants… “Probably best to leave him alone”, I thought to myself with a furrowed brow.
I was getting station claustrophobia, I’d flown very little the past few days as I was struggling through piles of books rather than sending deadly beams of laser death screaming across the void, the walls were closing in on me and the ever-present sub-aural humming of the station’s electrics was becoming unbearable.
I’d learnt a lot from my fellow business men in the past week already, but I was not yet confident in my ability to hold my own, on my own… especially with the recent hostilities in the system, but I’d have to bite the bullet sometime.
Another deep sigh crossed my lips as I got up and walked into the cargo elevator to the docking bay.
“Scotty, prepare my Punisher… I’m going hunting tonight.”
