Archive for June, 2010

83

The secret…of New Eden

the secret

It’s that time of year again, that wonderful time of year! No, not christmas. It’s the hulk-busting season.

And what comes along with Hulkageddon? That is right, whining, tears and a fundamental misunderstanding of EVE-ONLINE as a whole.
So join me then, pirate and carebear alike, as I reveal to you the true secret of New Eden, and the ultimate key to prospering in far reaches of space!

 

The Misunderstanding


There is, and has always been, a problem in EVE.  This problem stems from both mismanaged expectations and from a willful sort of ignorance.
The problem I am referring to, is a sense of entitlement.

Many new players (and indeed some very foolish and stubborn old players) come to New Eden with a set of expectations, these expectations include something they have been spoon fed by other MMOs, a sense that they are entitled to play their massively multiplayer games ALONE and without interference by third parties any time they like. They feel entitled to take what they want, without needing to defend what is theirs unless they specifically consent to engaging others in combat.

This assumption holds true in almost any MMORPG on the market today. However, it does not apply to EVE-ONLINE.

To quote the developers:

EVE-ONLINE IS DESIGNED TO BE A HARSH, COLD WORLD. NOT TO LOOK LIKE ONE.

This is a fact of life, an immutable design decision taken in a clear state of mind by the authors of your chosen form of entertainment.

Complaining about how this is “not fair” or railing endless about “it should not be like this” is completely and utterly pointless and stupid, if you don’t like Soccer, do you complain that its bad and you should be allowed to carry the ball in your hands instead? No. You go play something else.

And if you cannot come to terms with the fact that the quoted section above is precisely how EVE is, then that is what you should do. Play something else.

There is nothing wrong with not liking this style of gameplay, you are not a pussy for not liking it, but for the love of god shut the fuck up and leave, nobody that does like the fact EVE works like this is interested in your whining. There are other games out there that will frustrate you less, and there is absolutely no reason you need to be miserable, or for you to give the playerbase of EVE a headache with your complaining.


The Ignorance


EVE-ONLINE is not without it’s nuances however, it does accomodate less competitive players and professions with a degree of safety in specific areas, it does have rules to prevent griefing and it does have a sense of morals.

Unfortunately the whiny players mentioned above fail to interpret these rules in the spirit they were written, and instead will try their very hardest to use them as false arguments to support their position. A position which is in direct violation of the design choice discussed in the previous section.

Safety


High Security space provides a measure of safety against unwanted aggression. This measure is not complete, nor is it inviolate. The assumption that High security space is completely safe is utterly false and supported by the game mechanics. This measure of safety exists to make it easier for starting players to make their way in the world of EVE without being blown up every 3 seconds, and allows for the extremely amazing trade and manufacturing gameplay to exist for the solo and small group player.

It does not exist so you can mine, mission or do anything else in complete safety.

Specifically, in EVE online, you only own what you can keep.

If someone probes out your mission and begins stealing your loot, the rules of high security space allow you to engage them at your own risk but at no expense to you. The thief takes the risk of your retaliation, this is the price he must pay for his illegal action. If you want to keep that loot, you had better be prepared to defend it, and if you cannot, then the thief deserves what he has taken from you.

This is how things are designed to work in EVE.

If you are mining in your hulk, and you go AFK for extended periods of time, and you come back to find someone has suicide ganked your ship, then the ganker’s ship was invariably destroyed by CONCORD.

CONCORD punished the ganker and his security status has been lowered with all the consequences that entails, and that is the price he must pay for his illegal action, and he has paid it in full. There is no further penalty for him. CONCORD enforces the rules by applying the punishment decided upon by the designers for certain transgressions. They do not exist to pre-emptively strike down someone that has not done anything yet.

If you had been at your keyboard, and been on the lookout for suspicious activity in your belt, you could have probably escaped without being harmed.

Your safety is always your own responsibility in New Eden. No one else’s. And no amount of crying on the forums will change this fact, as again, this is an immutable part of the design of the game.

Griefing


There are sections in the Rules of Conduct (not the EULA as many mistakenly claim)  that exist to protect players from harrasment.

To know, specifically points 1,2,3 and 16

  1. You may not abuse, harass or threaten another player or authorized representative of CCP, including customer service personnel and volunteers. This includes, but is not limited to: petitioning with false information in an attempt to gain from it or have someone else suffer from it; sending excessive e-mails, EVE-mails or petitions; obstructing CCP Employees from doing their jobs; refusal to follow the instructions of a CCP Employee; or implying favoritism by a CCP Employee.
  2. You may not use any abusive, defamatory, ethnically or racially offensive, harassing, harmful, hateful, obscene, offensive, sexually explicit, threatening or vulgar language. (Alternate spelling or partial masking of such words will be reprimanded in the same manner as the actual use of such words.)
  3. You may not organize nor be a member of any corporation or group within EVE Online that is based on or advocates any anti-ethnic, anti-gay, anti-religious, racist, sexist or other hate-mongering philosophies

These three cover the standard sort of agreement to prevent personal abuse, inappropriate language, spamming and real-world racism.

It does not include and form of action that can be taken within the rules and mechanics of the game world. If i want to declare war on your person and blow you up every single time you undock for 6 months on end. I can do that. And it’s not breaking the RoC in any way or form. It is up to YOU to deal with this, using the mechanics of the game. Likewise, I can threaten to do the aforementioned to you, and I am still not breaking point 1. If I were, however to tell you I intend to inflict real world bodily harm upon you, the player, THEN and only then am I breaking RoC.  And I strongly encourage people to always report this kind of behaviour.

16. You may not do anything that interferes with the ability of other EVE Online subscribers to enjoy the game or web site in accordance with its rules. This includes, but is not limited to, making inappropriate use of any public channels within the game and/or intentionally creating excessive latency (lag) by dumping cargo containers, corpses or other items in the game world.

16 is a tricky one, or at least people seem to think it is.

Some player like to interpret this line as “anything that stops me from doing what I want is in violation” but the reality is that what it says is:

“Any action that makes normal use of the game client impossible to you is in violation”

The difference between the two is massive and important. I can run hulkageddon whenever I want to and blow up  thousands of ships over and over again, and I will NEVER be in violation of this rule. If I however, drop 15,000 cans in space to lock up your game client and prevent it from functioning normally, THEN and only then, am I in violation.

In summary, Hulkageddon is a completely valid form of playing EVE online. There is nothing in the RoC that will defend you from it. Some developers even endorse it, and your crying will fall on deaf ears.


Because it is you that is doing something wrong.

Not the people that blew you up.


-Helicity.

1

Guess that time it is…

 

 

 

Yes, it is that time again. People ceaselessly question me: “When is hulkageddon III ? “

The answer: EXTREMELY FUCKING SOON!

To that end, I am looking for sponsors for the event! If you want to contribute prizes or isk to the pot and BECOME IMMORTALIZED in the annals of history, please contract/send your prizes to my alt: Hulkageddon Jackpot. I intend to do something special this year to commemorate all the wonderful people that make HULKAGEDDON possible.

More news as I organize things, GO SEND ME SOME PRIZES!

 

(p.s. bump my forum thread pl0x )

 

-Helicity

25

We are not kidding about the importance…

…of filling out your form 12-B. Form 12-B is very serious business and is not to be taken lightly.

In order to outline the importance of this form, the Python Cartel ® Would like to present you with this cautionary tale.

Please meet Xan Longivit, matari capsuleer in the employ Native Freshfood.

Xan entered Python controlled space at 17:46 local time, without having a filled out form 12-B on his person. Python security forces acted immediately in self defense of our sovereign space.

Not wanting any misunderstandings to persist, our renowned customer service department contacted Xan to resolve the outstanding paperwork and see if we could satisfy this ignorant customer.

[ 2010.06.14 17:49:46 ] Kazaji > Here is my supervisor
[ 2010.06.14 17:49:54 ] Inka Kaoru > hiya, how can i help you?
[ 2010.06.14 17:50:00 ] Kazaji > Adress any complaints about my service to her
[ 2010.06.14 17:50:00 ] Xan Longivit > ok… calming down.. what was that all about. I just don’t get it
[ 2010.06.14 17:50:16 ] Inka Kaoru > calm is good
[ 2010.06.14 17:50:25 ] Inka Kaoru > why don’t you tell me your side of the story
[ 2010.06.14 17:51:14 ] Xan Longivit > I just spent most of my erning fitting that ship .. but why was I attacked… what nevermind. I just don’t care any more
[ 2010.06.14 17:51:46 ] Inka Kaoru > don’t go emo on me
[ 2010.06.14 17:51:57 ] Xan Longivit > all have to start ming now just to get a ship like that one agein.
[ 2010.06.14 17:52:02 ] Xan Longivit > I’m not
[ 2010.06.14 17:52:07 ] Inka Kaoru > were you in python-controlled space?
[ 2010.06.14 17:52:32 ] Xan Longivit > ok and
[ 2010.06.14 17:53:14 ] Xan Longivit > I’m doing missions… was this all becous I droped a cammand center
[ 2010.06.14 17:53:46 ] Inka Kaoru > if the command center was set up in chej
[ 2010.06.14 17:53:54 ] Inka Kaoru > then yes, that is why you were destroyed
[ 2010.06.14 17:54:06 ] Inka Kaoru > you were in violation of python cartel space
[ 2010.06.14 17:54:34 ] Xan Longivit > ok.. so I’m free to do missions as long as I don’t drop any command centers then
[ 2010.06.14 17:54:45 ] Xan Longivit > and I didn’t even know that
[ 2010.06.14 17:54:59 ] Inka Kaoru > we don’t like paperwork
[ 2010.06.14 17:55:06 ] Inka Kaoru > would you like the form now?
[ 2010.06.14 17:55:29 ] Xan Longivit > all I got was an invatation to join afleet from Karaji
[ 2010.06.14 17:55:41 ] Kazaji > Which you did not accept
[ 2010.06.14 17:55:46 ] Kazaji > That was to talk about the terms
[ 2010.06.14 17:56:03 ] Kazaji > But you did not respond, i could only assume your intentions were hostile
[ 2010.06.14 17:56:08 ] Xan Longivit > would have been nice to have that in the first place but ya
[ 2010.06.14 17:56:33 ] Xan Longivit > and I’m sopposted to know that
[ 2010.06.14 17:56:49 ] Xan Longivit > ok that fine all just mine then
[ 2010.06.14 17:57:03 ] Xan Longivit > what about my command cemter?
[ 2010.06.14 17:57:07 ] Inka Kaoru > you need to fill out form 12-B to mine in python space
[ 2010.06.14 17:57:14 ] Xan Longivit > *center*
[ 2010.06.14 17:57:26 ] Kazaji > Also, the command center will be removed if you do not fill out the form
[ 2010.06.14 17:57:39 ] Kazaji > 12-B covers both mining and command centers
[ 2010.06.14 17:57:51 ] Xan Longivit > ok then I can’t do missions… that was my only combat ready ship.
[ 2010.06.14 17:58:04 ] Xan Longivit > can I remove it… without it beeing blown up
[ 2010.06.14 17:58:14 ] Kazaji > Not unless you fill out 12-B
[ 2010.06.14 17:58:16 ] Kazaji > Ill be watching you
[ 2010.06.14 17:58:27 ] Kazaji > ONce its filled, then you’re free to do as you like
[ 2010.06.14 17:58:41 ] Xan Longivit > and what the hell is form 12-B
[ 2010.06.14 17:59:05 ] Xan Longivit > then why was I not killed when I first enterd your space??
[ 2010.06.14 17:59:14 ] Kazaji > Inka will provide you with the form in a minute
[ 2010.06.14 17:59:31 ] Inka Kaoru > you have the form now
[ 2010.06.14 17:59:41 ] Kazaji > Fill it out and mail it back ASAP
[ 2010.06.14 18:00:25 ] Xan Longivit > yearly ISK income are you crazy I’m in IRAQ I don’t have all the time in the wourld to make an income..
[ 2010.06.14 18:00:47 ] Kazaji > just make an estimate then
[ 2010.06.14 18:03:00 ] Xan Longivit > in what millions? or thousands
[ 2010.06.14 18:03:09 ] Kazaji > mil
[ 2010.06.14 18:03:33 ] Xan Longivit > do you reqier this for for mission running as well
[ 2010.06.14 18:03:47 ] Xan Longivit > ><
[ 2010.06.14 18:03:50 ] Inka Kaoru > one form covers them all
[ 2010.06.14 18:04:32 ] Xan Longivit > then why did no one say any-thing when I first entered your bloody space….
[ 2010.06.14 18:04:48 ] Inka Kaoru > well, we don’t like paperwork
[ 2010.06.14 18:04:53 ] Inka Kaoru > we’d rather blow you up
[ 2010.06.14 18:05:04 ] Xan Longivit > how far do’s you space go
[ 2010.06.14 18:05:11 ] Xan Longivit > ya I got that
[ 2010.06.14 18:05:18 ] Inka Kaoru > we own whatever system we are in
[ 2010.06.14 18:05:39 ] Inka Kaoru > if you see a python member in the same system, fill out a form and send it in
[ 2010.06.14 18:05:41 ] Inka Kaoru > just to be safe
[ 2010.06.14 18:05:49 ] Xan Longivit > and thats what. so I know to avoid you like a plage.
[ 2010.06.14 18:05:57 ] Xan Longivit > I cant scan
[ 2010.06.14 18:07:33 ] Lars Lodar > hello sir
[ 2010.06.14 18:08:07 ] Lars Lodar > have our services been satisfactory?
[ 2010.06.14 18:08:17 ] Lars Lodar > you did fill the form right?
[ 2010.06.14 18:08:28 ] Xan Longivit > hmmm what to do. try and leave with what ever I have left or submet to your rullings
[ 2010.06.14 18:08:45 ] Lars Lodar > well I am their boss
[ 2010.06.14 18:09:03 ] Lars Lodar > if we don’t get the proper forms then they have to answer to me
[ 2010.06.14 18:09:15 ] Xan Longivit > if you call shooting firt then asking question satisfactory
[ 2010.06.14 18:09:21 ] Lars Lodar > I do
[ 2010.06.14 18:09:35 ] Lars Lodar > were those not the services rendered?
[ 2010.06.14 18:09:47 ] Xan Longivit > what am I tomuch to handle that every-one’s now getting involved
[ 2010.06.14 18:10:13 ] Lars Lodar > well you did want to speak to a supervisor am I correct?
[ 2010.06.14 18:10:16 ] Kazaji > Well, if you filled out the form there would be no need for this, si
[ 2010.06.14 18:10:42 ] Xan Longivit > if sending a fleet request is what your looking for then yes… but what ever…. and no I’m not fucking emo
[ 2010.06.14 18:11:03 ] Kazaji > Sir, have you completly filled out form 12-B?
[ 2010.06.14 18:11:05 ] Lars Lodar > so you were not satisfied with services rendered?
[ 2010.06.14 18:11:24 ] Lars Lodar > even if that is the case we do insist you complete the form
[ 2010.06.14 18:11:25 ] Xan Longivit > ****evil lauph**** really… lol
[ 2010.06.14 18:11:44 ] Lars Lodar > to make sure an incident like this wont happen again
[ 2010.06.14 18:12:14 ] Lars Lodar > we our committed to your satisfaction sir
[ 2010.06.14 18:12:19 ] Lars Lodar > are*
[ 2010.06.14 18:12:39 ] Lars Lodar > see we can’t have errors like that on the form. Otherwise it’s invalid
[ 2010.06.14 18:12:49 ] Xan Longivit > I havent finished the form for I can estamat a yearly isk income for I’m in bloody IRAQ right now… but that probably dosn’t matter…….
[ 2010.06.14 18:13:10 ] Inka Kaoru > how much isk did you make this week?
[ 2010.06.14 18:13:16 ] Lars Lodar > our policy is universal
[ 2010.06.14 18:13:21 ] Xan Longivit > nevermind… I just need to calm down… its only a game
[ 2010.06.14 18:13:30 ] Lars Lodar > although I am unaware of that system
[ 2010.06.14 18:13:40 ] Kazaji > Just take this week’s, and multiply it by 52
[ 2010.06.14 18:13:41 ] Lars Lodar > is it in metropolis?
[ 2010.06.14 18:13:55 ] Xan Longivit > ???
[ 2010.06.14 18:14:01 ] Xan Longivit > no the country
[ 2010.06.14 18:14:17 ] Lars Lodar > ah so its on a planet. which system?
[ 2010.06.14 18:14:40 ] Xan Longivit > ohhh this is going to take a bit…
[ 2010.06.14 18:15:18 ] Xan Longivit > are you fucking with me or do you not know were IRAQ is?
[ 2010.06.14 18:15:39 ] Lars Lodar > I’m assuming it’s on a temperate planet
[ 2010.06.14 18:15:48 ] Xan Longivit > lol
[ 2010.06.14 18:15:49 ] Kazaji > I think its in the Kor-Azol region
[ 2010.06.14 18:15:51 ] Xan Longivit > nvm
[ 2010.06.14 18:15:56 ] Lars Lodar > judging by the name I’m assuming matari?
[ 2010.06.14 18:15:56 ] Xan Longivit > lol
[ 2010.06.14 18:16:23 ] Xan Longivit > wow you just got me to calm down by lauphte…. lol
[ 2010.06.14 18:16:34 ] Lars Lodar > I’m glad we could help you sir
[ 2010.06.14 18:16:47 ] Lars Lodar > but you still haven’t completed the 12-B form
[ 2010.06.14 18:17:19 ] Inka Kaoru > please send it to me when you finish so i can get to work processing it
[ 2010.06.14 18:17:38 ] Xan Longivit > ya I don’t thank all be able to make 982.8 mil in a year
[ 2010.06.14 18:17:40 ] Lars Lodar > processing will occur within 48 hours
[ 2010.06.14 18:17:54 ] Lars Lodar > we will mail you an itemized recipt within a week
[ 2010.06.14 18:18:09 ] Kazaji > Just stick with the 982mil, its only an estimate
[ 2010.06.14 18:18:18 ] Lars Lodar > assuming all the information is filled out correctly
[ 2010.06.14 18:18:22 ] Xan Longivit > and if I leave the station I’m in all get shoot at agein… ya right
[ 2010.06.14 18:19:30 ] Lars Lodar > well did you complete the form?
[ 2010.06.14 18:20:16 ] Inka Kaoru > thank you sir
[ 2010.06.14 18:20:56 ] Xan Longivit > just did now… and I dought you’ll allow me passige… pardon the por spelling… I’ve never been good at spelling.
[ 2010.06.14 18:21:16 ] Xan Longivit > ahh hell forgot to add the estamit
[ 2010.06.14 18:21:30 ] Lars Lodar > you are aware that errors in the form could result in ship destruction?
[ 2010.06.14 18:21:55 ] Xan Longivit > like what already happend no shit
[ 2010.06.14 18:22:33 ] Lars Lodar > sir there is no need to get upset
[ 2010.06.14 18:22:40 ] Lars Lodar > we are here to help you
[ 2010.06.14 18:22:51 ] Lars Lodar > your satisfaction is our primary goal
[ 2010.06.14 18:22:54 ] Xan Longivit > what do you want me to do. put a thasoris in front of me so I don’t make a mistak. I’m bloody humane
[ 2010.06.14 18:22:56 ] Xan Longivit > yeash
[ 2010.06.14 18:23:48 ] Lars Lodar > sir explatives are unnecessary
[ 2010.06.14 18:25:13 ] Xan Longivit > inka did you just recive a new e-mail
[ 2010.06.14 18:25:33 ] Inka Kaoru > i don’t see it
[ 2010.06.14 18:25:39 ] Xan Longivit > trying to stay calm is very hard for me at this moment so don’t push me please
[ 2010.06.14 18:25:47 ] Inka Kaoru > what was your isk estimate, i can edit it in
[ 2010.06.14 18:27:19 ] Kazaji > 982.6 i think he said
[ 2010.06.14 18:27:23 ] Xan Longivit > just resent it to you
[ 2010.06.14 18:27:26 ] Inka Kaoru > excellent
[ 2010.06.14 18:27:34 ] Xan Longivit > happy
[ 2010.06.14 18:27:42 ] Lars Lodar > give us a minute to process the form
[ 2010.06.14 18:27:50 ] Lars Lodar > I need to proof it before sending it off
[ 2010.06.14 18:28:07 ] Lars Lodar > errors will invalidate the form
[ 2010.06.14 18:29:01 ] Lars Lodar > it says on the form that you are ‘unhappy’ with services rendered
[ 2010.06.14 18:29:46 ] Lars Lodar > what could we have done to make your experience more pleasurable
[ 2010.06.14 18:29:58 ] Xan Longivit > ya I thank you would be to if you just lost a ship you put alote of isk into
[ 2010.06.14 18:30:06 ] Xan Longivit > but maybe thats just me
[ 2010.06.14 18:30:14 ] Lars Lodar > you did buy insurance correct?
[ 2010.06.14 18:31:47 ] Xan Longivit > I don’t know…. ya but it was a frig so platnum insurance only gave me 193,275 isk…. when the ship was worth more then that after all the fittings I put on it
[ 2010.06.14 18:32:37 ] Lars Lodar > did you file for python insurance?
[ 2010.06.14 18:33:10 ] Xan Longivit > what ever all just have to work harder to buy every thing back. look I’m not made at ether of ya but I hate loosing a ship I can’t replace at the moment
[ 2010.06.14 18:33:19 ] Xan Longivit > no
[ 2010.06.14 18:33:33 ] Lars Lodar > well that is your problem.
[ 2010.06.14 18:33:36 ] Xan Longivit > how Hi is that… and never herd of it
[ 2010.06.14 18:33:59 ] Lars Lodar > if you filed the 12-B form and set up python insurance your ship would be safe
[ 2010.06.14 18:34:25 ] Lars Lodar > well the insurance is paid directly to me
[ 2010.06.14 18:34:39 ] Lars Lodar > we do monthly payments of 100 million isk
[ 2010.06.14 18:34:53 ] Xan Longivit > and like I new of that from the begining ……….
[ 2010.06.14 18:35:05 ] Lars Lodar > all losses occured from Python members will be compensated at a fixed rate
[ 2010.06.14 18:35:39 ] Xan Longivit > and yet I’m not a python member
[ 2010.06.14 18:35:41 ] Lars Lodar > with interest accrued bi annually
[ 2010.06.14 18:35:48 ] Xan Longivit > so how do’s that help me
[ 2010.06.14 18:36:06 ] Lars Lodar > well the introductory fee is only 5 easy payments of 20 million isk
[ 2010.06.14 18:36:14 ] Lars Lodar > over the course of 5 days
[ 2010.06.14 18:36:29 ] Lars Lodar > that covers your first week
[ 2010.06.14 18:36:49 ] Xan Longivit > lol your kiding right lol… that insane…. And I thougth I was nuts
[ 2010.06.14 18:37:03 ] Helicity Boson > Hi
[ 2010.06.14 18:37:08 ] Lars Lodar > you know whats nuts?
[ 2010.06.14 18:37:19 ] Kazaji > I like nuts
[ 2010.06.14 18:37:21 ] Xan Longivit > what!?!
[ 2010.06.14 18:37:22 ] Lars Lodar > living without Python Insurance
[ 2010.06.14 18:37:25 ] Helicity Boson > What seems to be the problem?
[ 2010.06.14 18:37:40 ] Lars Lodar > we offer the safety and security of real insurance for double the price
[ 2010.06.14 18:37:43 ] Xan Longivit > nothing I’m not in the mood for a run around
[ 2010.06.14 18:37:59 ] Lars Lodar > sir we do offer low income plans
[ 2010.06.14 18:38:20 ] Lars Lodar > starting at 10 million a week with a 100 week contract
[ 2010.06.14 18:38:31 ] Xan Longivit > and sence when is the insurance for a frig going to cost at a starting price of 20 mil
[ 2010.06.14 18:38:50 ] Lars Lodar > this covers half the price of all modules
[ 2010.06.14 18:39:10 ] Lars Lodar > with the difference being invested in a frigate derivitive fund
[ 2010.06.14 18:39:12 ] Xan Longivit > you just want to make easy isk. thats all
[ 2010.06.14 18:39:26 ] Xan Longivit > sounds like a scam
[ 2010.06.14 18:39:37 ] Lars Lodar > I assure you this is no scam
[ 2010.06.14 18:39:47 ] Xan Longivit > shere
[ 2010.06.14 18:39:48 ] Lars Lodar > our prices are far better than the competition
[ 2010.06.14 18:40:11 ] Helicity Boson > Indeed, upon assuming the contract you will be automatically set blue to use for the duration.
[ 2010.06.14 18:40:19 ] Lars Lodar > and we are the only Insurance company that offers compounded interest with a 2 year plan
[ 2010.06.14 18:40:58 ] Xan Longivit > you fleac people for there isk when you promice to cover there lose when that’l never happen sence you’ll make sheer it dosn’t
[ 2010.06.14 18:41:27 ] Lars Lodar > sir are you calling me a liar?
[ 2010.06.14 18:41:34 ] Lars Lodar > we are trying to help you
[ 2010.06.14 18:42:24 ] Lars Lodar > if you can’t afford our gold or platinum plan we do offer a special alluminum plan
[ 2010.06.14 18:42:46 ] Xan Longivit > maybe and maybe not. I’m not one who see’s a free hand out and take’s it.. I’d rather wallow in the mud then take a hand out
[ 2010.06.14 18:43:17 ] Lars Lodar > but how could you pull yourself up by your bootstraps if they are caked in mud
[ 2010.06.14 18:43:24 ] Xan Longivit > guy I only have 795,133.31 IKS i’m nolonger in the mils
[ 2010.06.14 18:43:27 ] Lars Lodar > we do offer an insurance plan for that too
[ 2010.06.14 18:43:47 ] Lars Lodar > the bootstrap insurance is far more affordable and comprehensive
[ 2010.06.14 18:44:17 ] Xan Longivit > I’m a soldier I live that way by makeing insmeat with barly a peiny in my poket
[ 2010.06.14 18:44:24 ] Xan Longivit > how eals would I
[ 2010.06.14 18:45:14 ] Lars Lodar > have you tried moving to another system?
[ 2010.06.14 18:45:28 ] Xan Longivit > ya and this is alll I have left to fly. nothing more. Xan Longivit’s Burst I can’t fly mission in this minning ship
[ 2010.06.14 18:45:34 ] Lars Lodar > I hear Jita has quite the economy
[ 2010.06.14 18:45:58 ] Lars Lodar > would you like to get python insurance for your burst?
[ 2010.06.14 18:45:59 ] Kazaji > Xan, i have a proposal for you
[ 2010.06.14 18:46:17 ] Xan Longivit > are you tellin me I can’t finish what I started out to do when I came to this sytome
[ 2010.06.14 18:46:23 ] Kazaji > Xan, you say you have a command center in Chej, correct?
[ 2010.06.14 18:46:48 ] Xan Longivit > unless its blown up yes
[ 2010.06.14 18:46:51 ] Kazaji > What kind of command center is it?
[ 2010.06.14 18:46:54 ] Kazaji > Standard?
[ 2010.06.14 18:47:25 ] Xan Longivit > I would have had another in the station but thats gone. sence it was in my ships cargo bay why
[ 2010.06.14 18:47:31 ] Xan Longivit > basic
[ 2010.06.14 18:47:58 ] Xan Longivit > just started to figer out how to use them
[ 2010.06.14 18:48:03 ] Kazaji > for the small price of 70k, I will let you remove the command center in peace
[ 2010.06.14 18:48:15 ] Kazaji > it would be cheaper than buying a new one, and you wont have to go buy another
[ 2010.06.14 18:49:06 ] Helicity Boson > indeed, and you will be able to reinstall it at a safer location
[ 2010.06.14 18:49:10 ] Xan Longivit > ohh so your going to scame me. and hold my command center hostige unless I pay 90% of what it cost me to buy
[ 2010.06.14 18:49:24 ] Kazaji > 90% is cheaper than buying a new one for 100%
[ 2010.06.14 18:49:25 ] Helicity Boson > better than paying 100% for a new one
[ 2010.06.14 18:49:37 ] Helicity Boson > tell you what
[ 2010.06.14 18:49:42 ] Lars Lodar > my employees speak the truth
[ 2010.06.14 18:49:44 ] Helicity Boson > since we do have other things to do
[ 2010.06.14 18:49:52 ] Helicity Boson > i suggest we let you go get it for 45k
[ 2010.06.14 18:49:57 ] Helicity Boson > and lars will escort you
[ 2010.06.14 18:49:59 ] Xan Longivit > fuck it I still have one left
[ 2010.06.14 18:50:12 ] Kazaji > so you would rather see it blown up than to get it back?
[ 2010.06.14 18:50:23 ] Helicity Boson > that makes no sense to me to be honest
[ 2010.06.14 18:50:35 ] Xan Longivit > your black mailing me damnit
[ 2010.06.14 18:50:46 ] Kazaji > Call it what you want, but it’s cheaper for you
[ 2010.06.14 18:50:56 ] Helicity Boson > we have to make a living too you know
[ 2010.06.14 18:51:01 ] Helicity Boson > business is business
[ 2010.06.14 18:51:15 ] Xan Longivit > granted I’m not the smartest player out there but I can tell when I’m being scamed or blackmailed
[ 2010.06.14 18:51:17 ] Lars Lodar > and we’re in the business of making you happy
[ 2010.06.14 18:51:23 ] Helicity Boson > i think we are being rather more accomodating than others who wouldn’t let you go get it back :(
[ 2010.06.14 18:51:31 ] Kazaji > blackmail is stil buisness, we’re not denying that
[ 2010.06.14 18:51:32 ] Lars Lodar > what can we do to make your experience satisfactory?
[ 2010.06.14 18:52:23 ] Xan Longivit > first off how do theis damn command center’s work.
[ 2010.06.14 18:52:55 ] Kazaji > ill explain how to remove it once you pay for it’s safety
[ 2010.06.14 18:53:02 ] Kazaji > otherwise, it’s not my concern
[ 2010.06.14 18:53:15 ] Lars Lodar > we cannot handle uninsured products
[ 2010.06.14 18:53:24 ] Kazaji > I await the isk
[ 2010.06.14 18:53:31 ] Lars Lodar > for both our interests you do have claim insurance
[ 2010.06.14 18:53:47 ] Kazaji > Xan, i have a random question
[ 2010.06.14 18:53:48 ] Xan Longivit > thankfully I don’t have a mission to do… and thankfully I just completed it befor you blew me up
[ 2010.06.14 18:53:53 ] Lars Lodar > sir can you please tell me what is your MOS?
[ 2010.06.14 18:53:53 ] Xan Longivit > thankfully
[ 2010.06.14 18:53:57 ] Kazaji > What’s your mos?
[ 2010.06.14 18:54:43 ] Xan Longivit > my what
[ 2010.06.14 18:55:26 ] Xan Longivit > what the hell is a MOS
[ 2010.06.14 18:55:36 ] Lars Lodar > if you are in the military you’d know
[ 2010.06.14 18:55:40 ] Kazaji > ^
[ 2010.06.14 18:56:00 ] Helicity Boson > Military Occupation Speciality,
[ 2010.06.14 18:56:06 ] Xan Longivit > Why do you want that info!?!?!?!?!
[ 2010.06.14 18:56:10 ] Helicity Boson > we may be able to offer you a discount
[ 2010.06.14 18:56:15 ] Helicity Boson > for being in service
[ 2010.06.14 18:56:25 ] Helicity Boson > as we support our troops
[ 2010.06.14 18:56:42 ] Lars Lodar > half of what we recieve goes to a yellow ribbon fund
[ 2010.06.14 18:56:55 ] Xan Longivit > what the hell.. military dicount are you crazzy
[ 2010.06.14 18:57:08 ] Xan Longivit > on the game
[ 2010.06.14 18:57:18 ] Kazaji > you lied about being in teh military. As a corpy just said[18:56:52] Gallabella > thats SHAMEFULL
[ 2010.06.14 18:57:20 ] Lars Lodar > crazy serious about customer service
[ 2010.06.14 18:57:37 ] Helicity Boson > We take servicemen seriously good sir.
[ 2010.06.14 18:57:46 ] Xan Longivit > and what the hell is the meaning of the yellow ribbon… I’ve never understud that…
[ 2010.06.14 18:58:00 ] Lars Lodar > supporting the troops
[ 2010.06.14 18:58:01 ] Helicity Boson > we place great value in the people putting their lives on the line for our FREEDOM and way of life!
[ 2010.06.14 18:58:05 ] Lars Lodar > you do support the troops do you?
[ 2010.06.14 18:58:08 ] Xan Longivit > I’m a 92W water treatment Spec.
[ 2010.06.14 18:58:59 ] Helicity Boson > now we’re getting somewhere
[ 2010.06.14 18:59:21 ] Helicity Boson > can you please hold a moment while i confer with my colleagues?
[ 2010.06.14 18:59:27 ] Kazaji > Now, about your command center. Are you interested in it’s safety?
[ 2010.06.14 18:59:29 ] Helicity Boson > I think I can make you a satisfactory offer
[ 2010.06.14 18:59:46 ] Xan Longivit > I’m a soldier how much more support can I give. I produce the water for what ever task needs it to preform its duty’s
[ 2010.06.14 19:00:27 ] Xan Longivit > and what do you want me to do retrive it and gain nothing but greaf or what
[ 2010.06.14 19:00:33 ] Lars Lodar > where is your command center located?
[ 2010.06.14 19:00:48 ] Xan Longivit > CHEJ VI
[ 2010.06.14 19:01:06 ] Lars Lodar > I can escot you to the site for retrieval
[ 2010.06.14 19:01:18 ] Helicity Boson > We will allow you to retrieve it free of charge
[ 2010.06.14 19:01:24 ] Helicity Boson > in respect for your service
[ 2010.06.14 19:01:29 ] Helicity Boson > just this once
[ 2010.06.14 19:01:42 ] Helicity Boson > is that satisfactory?
[ 2010.06.14 19:02:04 ] Xan Longivit > fuck it all go get it by my-seld… thanks but I don’t like being escorted. had anouph of that for 15 mounth
[ 2010.06.14 19:02:29 ] Helicity Boson > We cannot guarantee your safety then, but if you agree to that we can part ways
[ 2010.06.14 19:02:34 ] Xan Longivit > thats up tho you
[ 2010.06.14 19:03:13 ] Xan Longivit > you make your own choice’s I don’t
[ 2010.06.14 19:03:44 ] Kazaji > Xan, our offer of peace will not last long. If you wish to collect your command center, I would warp to the planet asap to collect it
[ 2010.06.14 19:03:47 ] Helicity Boson > Well, good luck then, and thank you for taking the time to speak with python customer service.
[ 2010.06.14 19:04:41 ] Xan Longivit > do you want me out of this system then
[ 2010.06.14 19:05:10 ] Lars Lodar > we want customer satisfaction
[ 2010.06.14 19:05:16 ] Helicity Boson > no no, take your time to pick up your base and leave at your convenience sir
[ 2010.06.14 19:07:15 ] Xan Longivit > now how do I recover my command center
[ 2010.06.14 19:07:29 ] Helicity Boson > go to planet mode
[ 2010.06.14 19:07:42 ] Xan Longivit > why am I being locked on
[ 2010.06.14 19:07:58 ] Helicity Boson > are you?
[ 2010.06.14 19:08:01 ] Kazaji > who locked you?


Boom goes his burst


[ 2010.06.14 19:08:36 ] Xan Longivit > lars
[ 2010.06.14 19:08:46 ] Lars Lodar > yes sir?
[ 2010.06.14 19:09:23 ] Kazaji > its on scan
[ 2010.06.14 19:09:31 ] Xan Longivit > you tryed locking on me out side the staion and yet agein at the planet… what ever… all hell with it
[ 2010.06.14 19:09:44 ] Lars Lodar > that was a cargo scan
[ 2010.06.14 19:09:58 ] Lars Lodar > I did not see any insurance forms
[ 2010.06.14 19:10:20 ] Xan Longivit > ok… now what ealse do I do to recover this command center
[ 2010.06.14 19:10:34 ] Kazaji > Well, you need a ship to do it
[ 2010.06.14 19:10:39 ] Lars Lodar > you have to be in a station first
[ 2010.06.14 19:10:46 ] Lars Lodar > did you need help getting to a station?
[ 2010.06.14 19:10:48 ] Helicity Boson > lars please help him to the station
[ 2010.06.14 19:10:57 ] Lars Lodar > yessir


Boom goes his pod


[ 2010.06.14 19:10:57 ] Xan Longivit > ??? what
[ 2010.06.14 19:10:58 ] Kazaji > quick trip to station?
[ 2010.06.14 19:11:47 ] Lars Lodar > was your trip satisfactory?
[ 2010.06.14 19:12:14 ] Lars Lodar > It should have been instant
[ 2010.06.14 19:13:41 ] Xan Longivit > now I just lost every-thing ownd.. and stuk with this peice of shit starter ship fuck you
[ 2010.06.14 19:14:02 ] Helicity Boson > I think this concludes our service to you.

Had Xan used proper procedure and filed a form 12-B prior to entry to the system, this whole situation could have been avoided.


So remember: FILL OUT YOUR 12-B TODAY!

CAPSULEER FORM 12-B

* PLEASE FILL OUT YOUR FULL NAME:
_______________________________________

* PLEASE ESTIMATE YOUR YEARLY ISK INCOME:
_______________________________________

* PLEASE CHECKMARK YOUR REASONS FOR ATTEMPTING ACCESS JERK CARTEL CONTROLLED SPACE:
[ ] I want to mine in lowsec.
[ ] I want to rat in lowsec.
[ ] I heard there was some really good hookers in this system.
[ ] I WANT TO PEEVEEPEE LIKE A BIG BOY LAWL!
[ ] Peanut Butter
[ ] All of the above

* PLEASE CHECKMARK HOW SATISFIED YOU WERE WITH BEING BLOWED UP:
[ ] Very Satisfied
[ ] Somewhat Satisfied
[ ] Satisfied
[ ] Unhappy
[ ] FUCK YOU FAGGOTS

* PLEASE INDICATE BELOW HOW WE CAN BETTER SERVE YOU IN THE FUTURE:
_______________________________________


* = Required Field
** = Really, really required field